Creating Optimism

ENEMY WITHIN THE GATES

Can Belief in God Cure Depression?

Robyn McClure

If you, like me, have ever suffered from depression, or are possibly battling with its symptoms at the moment, you might identify it as an insidious invader of our emotional well-being.

To many people who step out into the world on a daily basis, reacting to life’s ups and downs with hope and optimism, it can perhaps be difficult to imagine, or even understand the prison of darkness that can suck any of us at any time into  its negative spiral. The frustration of not being understood is coupled with the frustration that, while many people have developed different theories about its causes and treatment, it seems that no real agreement can be reached. The known and often publicized side effects of psychiatric medicines cause alarm rather than ready acceptance and it is often difficult to know where to go for treatment. Sadly, too, treatment does not always provide relief.

How do we make our lives meaningful? This is a question I often ask myself - particularly around my birthday or other life milestones. And it’s a question that often comes up with clients.

As a psychologist, I have observed that the depression of many of my clients seems to stem from their inability to feel that they have a purpose, that there is a meaning to their lives. They look for worth in possessions, in status, in wealth and, while they may get a temporary boost from these things, in the end many find that status and wealth are vacuous. What you earn and what you own do not give meaning to your life. Your life can be empty if you live in a palace or in a hovel, if you run IBM or if you are unemployed, if you are famous or unknown.

So many of us try to find purpose in achieving goals around our career, family, politics or social life. These goals have their place. But they are transitory, and achieving them can leave our lives as empty of meaning as before. Politics undergoes swings, our children go on to live lives of their own, social mores shift, and eventually we retire (sometimes at an absurdly young age). What can we count on amidst all the ephemera?

“I hate you!” Linda screamed one second before the plate of spaghetti Bolognaise flew from her hand towards her husband’s head. Paul ducked just in time, but the next missile, a wet dishtowel, hit it’s mark and blinded him temporarily.

In the ten years of their marriage Linda and Paul had survived numerous such incidents. Linda would fly into uncontrollable rages, sometimes, it seemed, as a result of Paul’s equally frequent depressive episodes.

Mood disorders come in many forms, some of them deeply disguised. Psychologists have labels for many of them: generalized anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder (manic depression), unipolar disorder (serious depression), dysthemia (chronic but milder depression), post traumatic stress disorder (an extreme anxiety disorder), and so forth. A lot of recent research has suggested that they are all forms of depression. Other researchers have found that the incidence of depression in the US doubles every twenty years.

A mood disorder can cloak itself: depression, for example, can manifest itself as a “physical” illness. Studies have shown that 80% of people who visit physicians are suffering from depression. Unfortunately a bit less than half of all doctors are able to recognize these “somatized” mood disorders for what they are which leads to increased suffering on the part of their patients and large bills for unnecessary medications.

The why of this depression pandemic lies in a highly dysfunctional society that puts huge stressors on families and makes it nearly impossible for children to get their developmental and personal needs met.

Recent research has taught us an extremely important lesson: good relationships are the most powerful healing mechanism of all. Even medications are much more effective if the patient has a good relationship with the physician.

The converse is also true: poor relationships cause illness. In fact, we are more prone to virus attack or even accidents if we have had an argument with a significant person in our life—our boss, child, spouse or friend. Depression which, we believe research demonstrates to be the greatest health problem of our time because it underlies so many other, is largely caused by relationships gone wrong in childhood. It can only be fully healed through good relationships.

Yet, in our convoluted society statistics show, 80% of all relationships fail. We’ve lost the art of connecting well to other people. Although the drive to form connections with others is innate, the “how-to” is learned. We learn relationship-forming when we are very young (under 6) from the ways our parents and other significant adults relate to us and to each other. We may unconsciously pick up their bad habits, such as criticism or emotional absence, and either do these things ourselves or gravitate toward those that do.

Yet you can learn to create fully healing, supportive relationships in all areas of your life. In fact, thousands have done so using our unique and powerful Uplift program techniques.